Relationships Rules

yRelationship rules are not structures to box you in,
but windows to help you see what could be outside
or glasses to help you see what you might be
missing. And in the case of 10 Things, or 25 Tips,
or 7 ways or whatever, you don't have to do all, or
use all, or find all, just enough to make you happy.
The article which Toke reads in the video and
which is supposed to be Oprah's thoughts on men
and relationships is below as well as a short
paragraph at the end by Dr. Phil.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him
away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can
make him stay. Stop making excuses for a
man and his behavior. Allow your intuition
(or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a
relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is
better. Never live your life for a man before
you find what makes you truly happy. If a
relationship ends because the man was not
treating you as you deserve then heck no, you
can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a
friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you
along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because
you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things
are not better. The only person you can
control in a relationship is you. Avoid men
who have a bunch of children by a bunch of
different women. He didn’t marry them when
he got them pregnant, why would he treat you
any differently? Always have your own set of
friends separate from his. Maintain
boundaries in how a guy treats you. If
something bothers you, speak up. Never let a
man know everything. He will use it against
you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change
comes from within. Don’t EVER make him
feel he is more important than you are. Even if
he has has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a
man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are. Never
borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with
you, he’ll cheat on you. A man will only treat
you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All
men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the
bending… Compromise is two way street. You
need time to heal between relationships. There
is nothing cute about baggage… Deal with
your issues before pursuing a new
relationship. You should never look for
someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for
someone complimentary…not supplementary.
Dating is fun… Even if he doesn’t turn out to
be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes…
When a man always know where you are, and
you’re always readily available to him ~ he
takes it for granted. Never move into his
mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give
you everything that you need. Keep him in
your radar but get to know others.
Scared of being alone is what makes a
lot of women stay in relationships that
are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says…
You should know that: You’re the best
thing that could ever happen to anyone
and if a man mistreats you, he’ll miss
out on a good thing. If he was attracted
to you in the 1st place, just know that
he’s not the only one. They’re all
watching you, so you have a lot of
choices. Make the right one. Ladies
take care of your own hearts.

And BTW, while I don't know about the part in
bold by Dr Phil, Snopes is of the opinion that the
part supposed to be by Oprah may not be by her
after all. Read their post here.

WOW, THIS IS SOO DEEP YET TRUE HEAR
WHAT OPRAH HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him
away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can
make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his
behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you
from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a
relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find
what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was
not treating you as you deserve then heck no,
you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't
mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then
he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get
better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later
for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a
relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by
a bunch of different women. He didn't marry
them when he got them pregnant, why would
he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate
from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use
it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change
comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more
important than you are... even if he has more
education or in a better job. Do not make him
into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more
nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he
cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW
him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the
bending... compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...
there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal
with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship.
You should never look for someone to
COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of
two WHOLE individuals... look for someone
complimentary... not supplementary.
Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to
be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man
always know where you are, and you're always
readily available to him - he takes it for
granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give
you everything that you need. Keep him in
your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other women and men (just so
they know)... You'll make someone smile,
another rethink her/his choices, and another
woman prepare, and a man aware.