SEE A Touching Letter By An Abused Wife To Her Husband Before She Died Of Cancer
stone hearted. I dont understand why men claim
to love ladies and then later on in life, they turn to
monsters. Women need to be enlightened on failed
relationships and to think her husband is a pastor
there in Dublin, God help us women.” Late
Ogochukwu Onuchukwu (Nee Onugu) witnessed
something similar in her marriage and also
penned a letter to her husband when she was
about dieing. (If you missed it, read it HERE) I
dont know the lady (Dolapo's friend) who oiginally
published this.
This touching letter was written by late Dolapo
GoodGod who was buried in Ireland few weeks
ago.
One’s last words are always revealing and provide
a critical and honest assessment of one’s life and
the most important issues therein.
Our dear friend, Dolapo who died a few weeks ago
and was finally laid to rest on the 14th of June in
Ireland decided to share her’ last words on the day
she was returned to mother earth. I woke up this
morning and saw this link in my inbox from
Dolapo’s FB account. I immediately assumed her
account had been compromised but decided to
click and what I read ….well let’s just say summed
up neatly by the author herself. They were
Dolapo’s thoughts on many of the challenges she
faced and as she provided a better glimpse for
those with many unanswered questions.
As you read this, you will fight tears…it is a sad
story but Dolapo’s willingness to share her story is
a classic example of her love and really an example
of turning one’s mess into a message. Her story
tells of her journey, betrayal, pain, sadness yet it
provides hope and peace as she shares her journey
of applying her faith to real life issues. Sometimes
our best stories are written when we are done here
on earth, I believe Dolapo’s story is still being
written…and I say a big thank you for everything.
We were members of the same team in CLF, served
and worked together in the ‘special’ Visitation
Committee with Sis. Lawunmi (late)…well you two
can continue what was started many years ago.
We are still here…running our race. We will see
you all when we are done…but for now…we run.
Go ahead rest in the bosom of our Lord forever.
I bid you farewell………………… ………………………..
I am grateful to God that I will rest in His bosom
and I am more grateful because I have always
wanted this opportunity to speak my mind even
unto death. I guess you are surprised that even the
dead can air an opinion; in my case I really
wanted to because I knew that God was preparing
a place for me and that is where I will be. Do not
weep for so long because I found eternal peace in
Him.
The very peace that has eroded me in about twelve
years of my God given years (at the time of this
writing I am forty-one years of age and I have
been married for twelve years).
This is my story………
I am Yetunde nee Olotu as I am fondly called by
my immediate family in Nigeria but here I am
being referred to as Omodolapo Jagha as named
by the love of my life. Now, I am Dolapo
GoodGod , the surname I adopted when I realized
that I no longer have a husband who will be there
for me. The very man I should expect to be the
Master of ceremony at my burial, the man you
think would miss my departure the most but
unfortunately not. I believe my estranged husband
is glad that he is now free from the bondage called
marriage.
Noble Jagha, I hope you feel so happy now that
your prophesy to Maryam Hassan and other
girlfriends of yours that I will soon die so you can
marry them is now fulfilled. The truth is that my
body may be dead but my hope of glory in heaven
is constant as God lives. I may not be here again
but I am so sure you will never find anyone to love
you the way I did……
You were my first love, the very man who
deflowered me but turned his back on me years
after that I was not good on bed (not sexy enough
for you), I was not good at cooking but I managed
to learn and cook your local meal of Starch and
Banga. He said, “I was so paranoid” because I
complained that you are only comfortable making
phone calls in the car and returning home at
midnight. You finally abandoned me and the
children in December, 2012 after all the mental
and physical abuse I suffered from you. You could
not face the wrath of law as I got a safety and
protection order against you because I was afraid
that you would eventually take my life.
While you lived with us, you were of no use, as you
were not readily available to do your matrimonial
and fatherly duties. How painful it was to take the
twins to school walking all the way from Ongar to
Little Pace, sometimes after getting a chemo. Even
when I pleaded with you to look after the kids
when I have appointments at the hospital you
refused.
Thank God for the Irish government (HSE) that
provided me with home help (Margaret), my
cousin, grandma Odelade, Sola and S. Bimbo (my
wonderful sisters in church), my friend, confidant
(Gbemi) who stuck to me like a sister, she is known
in all our kids’ school as their guardian because
you were not there. You found solace in your
numerous, “your attraction” as you referred to the
choir leader and probably your new sizzling
romance Sheila Luxembor whom you kept my kids
with without my consent.
I hope she told you I rang her and made peace
with her when I did no wrong (Yeah, I did this to
secure my heaven).
Hhhhmmmm……….the Lord is my strength. Oti,
how do you feel after physically and mentally
tormenting me? You can now be happy that “the
living corpse” (as you often referred to me) in your
home has finally gone to be with God. You no
longer have to hit me or pounce on me anymore.
In death I have forgiven you because I loved you
but I hope you are able to forgive yourself…….? I
cannot forget in a minute how I felt so let down
that I took to my heels and sought refuge in that
sister’s place and later on at the women’s refuge. I
am sure your defence is that I died as a cancer
patient but I believe I could live a day longer if you
were there for me…… I went through the pains of
Cancer lonely! Rather than supporting, you
rejected me. Isn’t marriage meant to be for better
or for worse.….? I hope when I remember how
childish you were for taking the boot you bought
for me and returning the wrist watch I bought for
you I can peacefully sigh a relief for leaving this
cruel world.
You were so mean to me! Oti, you were really
mean to Emmanuella too. How could you ill-treat
your own children because they are girls? I have all
the horrible text messages you sent to me
documented; psychologically you killed me before
my death. Pastor Jagha, a man of God! The
church has failed in their duty to help you from
fallen, they have pampered you for doing wrong in
order to save their face and invariably they have
failed me.
Church is meant for sinners irrespective of their
position and as such no one should be above
chastising. I hope after my demise our father in
the Lord would have enough evidence to correct
the wrong of my beloved husband. No wonder my
so-called husband was able to trick the church
who also lured me to take off the safety and
protection order and stop me from getting a
separation that I so long for.
On my dying bed I made copies of telephone bills
showing his immoral communication with a
worker in the church at Athlone but there was still
no sufficient evidence……… The church that
should be a place of refuge became a place of
torment for me. I hope you can also enjoy your
new relationship with Sheila, I learnt you told
some of your church members that I asked her to
look after my kids because I was sick in the
hospital whereas she keeps malice with me just
because of your sex romp with her. Oti, you left my
children at home for two days and went to sleep
with your girl friend in Athlone.
You also asked my under-aged children to travel
on bus to Athlone by themselves while I was on the
hospital bed. I loved you but you failed me and
you know it. The bitter pill that I have to swallow is
the fact that I can no longer be there for my lovely
girls .Their beloved father despised them so
because I could not make a male child (you
claimed that I was unable to have a boy child
because I did not drink from the anointing oil
which you asked me to drink and that makes you
detest me too).
I am deeply sorry that I did not drink it; maybe
that would have spared me of some lashes. Our
lovely first daughter at age twelve said, “Mummy I
don’t think I will get married” This is as a result of
the abuse that my child suffered from our
marriage… If you are a loved one and you know
my daughter, please help me say to her that
marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured….. I
want her to be married and make me proud! Oti,
why do you always run away from your problems
rather than resolving them? You left Nigeria
because of your involvement in fraud at the bank
which you never resolved.
As I speak you owe my mother a sum of one
million, two hundred thousand naira which you
have no plan to repay. How come you had issues
even with your own sibling in the U.K to such an
extent that you poisoned her…..? That is the more
reason why I was so scared for my life. You are
such a difficult person, the community welfare
officer , our GP, Olive at Hartstown , the Child
protection unit at Finglas and our father in the
Lord tried their best to advise you to no avail. You
were not ready to make me happy.Noble Jagha,
you wanted me dead as soon as possible.
I still wonder why you refused to come with me for
separation times and again when I asked that we
should part ways. I know your intent may be to
make gains from my years of labour at Anpost. I
worked so hard to pay the rent, to feed us and
even paid some of your fees to pursue your MBA.
Despite all my effort you were never satisfied, even
on my sick bed you demanded for money…..I hope
you are happy that you have them all and you can
feed your numerous girlfriends with them.
I plead with you and I besiege all that reads this to
appeal to you that you do the following after my
demise which is of utmost importance (I hope you
will heed advice for once).
1. That you may put in trust/fixed deposit for my
daughters all monies raised from my burial and
benefits from my workplace having paid all
expenses incurred and other personal loan taking
from my friends during my period of illness. My
daughters need to know I care for them even in my
grave.
2. That, I have a will in which I have named the
executors to my will and joint custodians of our
children. The lawyer will keep you posted in due
course, please adhere!
3. Oti you can also pay any money that you owe
from the monies before the account is opened.
4. Kindly pay my mother the money you owe her
too before the account is fixed.
5. I want my mother to be a part of my children’s
life, please don’t deprive her.
6. Oti make peace with my family and friends (stop
making enemies out of the people that helps me).
Oti, it may surprise you but I have to let you know
that I have the password to your facebook account
and email accounts! How come I am not on your
friend list?
Why did you also refuse to tell me the cause of
your mother’s death? I know she died of cancer!
Hmmmm Oti does not love me; he could not stay
with me in sickness despite the fact that I loved
him more than my children. Hhmmmm
I hope my mother can forgive me for not heeding
her advice in respect of my choice of marriage and
I pray that God gives her and my father the
fortitude to bear this irreparable lost.
It is too late to cry when the head is off.
Thank you for not leaving me alone in my time of
troubles and needs my sisters, thank you sister for
going to Olive’s school, please follow up with
Emmanuel as planned, I don’t want my children
to suffer. I am so worried …..I am tired.
I don’t want you people to go, don’t leave me
alone. I want someone to sleep here with me
tonight.
Signed.
Omodolapo GoodGod
May her soul rest in perfect peace.
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