adeniyi opemipo at 16:21 Six (6) Things Every Couple Should Discuss Before Getting Married
Many couples don't take the time to discuss these
important topics before getting married,
addressing the topics below doesn't always lead to
easy conversations, but it's essential that you
discuss each of them in-depth now, rather than
waiting for a rude awakening after you've said "I
do."
1. Your Home.
Even if you're already living together, you won't
live in that second-floor rental unit forever and it's
important to discuss the type of home you envision
sharing together in the future. Do you want to live
in a condo? A house with a yard and garage?
Would you consider moving to a different city?
How many times a month will you entertain?
2. Religion.
Whether you're an interfaith couple or you share
the same beliefs, you have to discuss the role of
religion in your relationship. While your families
may try to influence the role of religion in the lives
of your children, especially, it's important that the
two of you decide how you will practice your faith
and trainyour children before the wedding. Will
you both take the children to church (or to
synagogue or the mosque)? What will you do if
your child wants to experience other faiths?
3. Children.
Before you even agree to marry someone, you need
to make sure that you're on the same page re:
offspring. Do you both want to have children? If
so, how many? If you can't have biological
children, would you consider adoption or in vitro
fertilization? Do you share the same discipline
philosophy?
4. Sex.
Being intimate is an important part of a married
couple's relationship. But having sex isn't enough
to guarantee marital intimacy: talking about sex is
also important. You need to feel that you can trust
telling your partner your sexual needs. Do you feel
comfortable sharing your desires with your
partner? How many times a week do you expect to
have sex in your marriage? Are you happy with
your sex life? What do you love about your sex life?
What do you wish was different?
5. Money.
Every couple has their own way of managing their
finances. While there's no right or wrong method,
experts warn against keeping separate bank
accounts, unless you also have a shared one. It's
not good to have anything but 'ours' in a marriage
and separate bank accounts create a sense of
"mine" and "yours." Will you combine all of your
finances? Put a certain percentage in a joint
account and keep the rest in personal accounts?
Or will you keep your finances totally separate? Do
you have similar spending habits? If not, how will
you deal with these differences throughout your
marriage? Who will be in charge of paying the
bills?
6. Communication.
That's right--you have to communicate about
communication! If you have communication issues
now, then it's going to be very difficult to work
through bumps in the road once a mortgage and
children come along. Arguments never solve a
problem. Rather than raising your voices when you
disagree on something, he recommends that you
sit down across from each other and discuss your
feelings regarding the issue. It's important that
each spouse listens to and considers the other
person's feelings, rather than focusing on who is
right or wrong. What are your perpetual issues?
Do you have the same approaches to
communication? Are there certain communication
techniques that work better for you?
important topics before getting married,
addressing the topics below doesn't always lead to
easy conversations, but it's essential that you
discuss each of them in-depth now, rather than
waiting for a rude awakening after you've said "I
do."
1. Your Home.
Even if you're already living together, you won't
live in that second-floor rental unit forever and it's
important to discuss the type of home you envision
sharing together in the future. Do you want to live
in a condo? A house with a yard and garage?
Would you consider moving to a different city?
How many times a month will you entertain?
2. Religion.
Whether you're an interfaith couple or you share
the same beliefs, you have to discuss the role of
religion in your relationship. While your families
may try to influence the role of religion in the lives
of your children, especially, it's important that the
two of you decide how you will practice your faith
and trainyour children before the wedding. Will
you both take the children to church (or to
synagogue or the mosque)? What will you do if
your child wants to experience other faiths?
3. Children.
Before you even agree to marry someone, you need
to make sure that you're on the same page re:
offspring. Do you both want to have children? If
so, how many? If you can't have biological
children, would you consider adoption or in vitro
fertilization? Do you share the same discipline
philosophy?
4. Sex.
Being intimate is an important part of a married
couple's relationship. But having sex isn't enough
to guarantee marital intimacy: talking about sex is
also important. You need to feel that you can trust
telling your partner your sexual needs. Do you feel
comfortable sharing your desires with your
partner? How many times a week do you expect to
have sex in your marriage? Are you happy with
your sex life? What do you love about your sex life?
What do you wish was different?
5. Money.
Every couple has their own way of managing their
finances. While there's no right or wrong method,
experts warn against keeping separate bank
accounts, unless you also have a shared one. It's
not good to have anything but 'ours' in a marriage
and separate bank accounts create a sense of
"mine" and "yours." Will you combine all of your
finances? Put a certain percentage in a joint
account and keep the rest in personal accounts?
Or will you keep your finances totally separate? Do
you have similar spending habits? If not, how will
you deal with these differences throughout your
marriage? Who will be in charge of paying the
bills?
6. Communication.
That's right--you have to communicate about
communication! If you have communication issues
now, then it's going to be very difficult to work
through bumps in the road once a mortgage and
children come along. Arguments never solve a
problem. Rather than raising your voices when you
disagree on something, he recommends that you
sit down across from each other and discuss your
feelings regarding the issue. It's important that
each spouse listens to and considers the other
person's feelings, rather than focusing on who is
right or wrong. What are your perpetual issues?
Do you have the same approaches to
communication? Are there certain communication
techniques that work better for you?
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